Perpetual Plan B

Monday, October 26, 2009

Virtual Exercise?

I am sore all over. Really sore.

All over.

This is how it happened. You'll never believe it.

I had a dream about a week ago. In my dream, I ended up in some sort of commercial building area with frosted glass and a long, skinny foyer - like they have at our church. I pushed through the double doors, with a shopping cart, into the area - only to find a tiger. Instead of being smart and backing out of there and shutting the door, I fought my way through, keeping the cart between me and the tiger, and pushed him into the next room, also with frosted glass. Then I entered this room instead of being smart and slamming the doors and staying out, only to struggle to get the tiger through the next set of double doors. I then shut the doors and through the frosted glass I could see there was not only a tiger, but another big cat with leopard spots.

That was the end of the dream, as far as I can remember.

I had another dream a couple of nights ago. In my dream I started out at Bath and Body Works. A big, fancy Bath and Body Works. And it was Christmas time. I was trying out their new cream deodorant that came in a tub, like a body butter, hoping it would be strong enough to work for me. They also had really good food samples sitting all over the place, but somehow I never got to try any. (Is this significant to my life? I'm not sure. I'll have to look into it.)

Anyway, next thing I knew, I was pushing a shopping cart down a busy street. A big, yellow busload of school children went by (it was the middle of the night, so why were they in the bus? Maybe they were coming home from a game.) and they all looked out the windows and started making fun of me.

As if this were not enough, I ended up in some sort of commercial area that started to look vaguely familiar.

Sure enough, I was at the same place as the dream from last week. What is really strange is that I started saying to some guy who was there with me in the first vestibule, "Wait a minute. I've already had this dream. This is what happened to me last week." He wasn't really listening and he was no help at all with the tiger. In fact I think he ducked back out of the first set of doors once I started going the rounds with the tiger.

Again I struggled to maneuver him with the cart through the second set of doors and on through to the last set. (And even in my dream I found myself wondering why I didn't just slam the doors and back out of the first two sets.) And, again, just like before I could see the tiger and the leopard through the frosted glass at the end.

What does it all mean?

I have absolutely no idea. All I do know is that I hurt all over. I'm sore in muscles that I didn't even know I had.

This has only happened to me once before that I can remember. About 15 years ago I had a dream that I was playing soccer. I ran up and down the field, kicking and heading the ball (and playing much better than I ever did in real life). I also remember going out of bounds to throw the ball in over my head many times.

I was sore from that episode for days. I remember my abs hurt like they had never hurt before from hurling the ball over my head.

I kept thinking that if there was only some way I could figure out how to be able to do this all the time, I'd never have to exercise again.

This time I'm thinking a little bigger. I want to figure out how to patent it so I can teach OTHER people how to do it and make my first million. I'd say that's multi-tasking at its finest.

Plus my other bright idea got developed by someone else.

When I was a kid I kept saying, "If only there would be a way to put shortening into one cup sticks, like butter. That's how I'm going to make my fortune."

Well, anyway, someone else did it and my life is much better because of it. Thank you, Crisco.

In closing, if anyone is able to take my idea and run with it, all I'm asking is for a small percentage. And a free membership for life.

Unless there are tigers involved. If that's the case, I might not be interested.

1 comment:

Katie said...

HAhahahahaha . . .