The Corn Incident

We had Corn Chowder for dinner tonight, which sometimes reminds me of something that happened a long time ago with my father-in-law.

One evening, when Hal and I had been married a couple of years or so, we were at Hal's parents' house for dinner.

Whenever they would serve corn, Grandpa Fronk would always ask how many ears people would want to eat with their dinner and pick exactly that many ears.

He was always a little sensitive about his corn and would feel kind of insulted if people wouldn't eat all the corn they ordered. When he asked me how many ears of corn I would eat, I answered with my usual, "Two, if they're young." Unfortunately, he and I had VERY different opinions on if an ear of corn was young or not.

Dinner was served and I bit into my first ear of corn. I am really not a fan at all of corn that is past its prime and I knew there was no way I would be able to choke down much of the first ear, not to mention the other one.

I knew Hal didn't mind eating older corn and I was pretty sure he would help me out in this situation. Since we were sitting outside, I had a great idea for how to get my extra corn onto his plate.

I used the old "Hey, what kind of tree is that?" trick. When I pointed to the tree everyone at the table complied by turning and looking in that direction, away from the table. I hurried and sneaked the other ear of corn onto Hal's plate, taking one of his empty cobs to put on my plate.

Whew! I was almost home free. All I had to do was eat enough of the first ear of corn and then turn it on the plate so it looked like I'd eaten at least most of it.

What I didn't count on was Hal being oblivious to my plan. A minute later he asked (very loudly I might add), "Did you put this ear of corn on my plate?"

I was upset and embarrassed, so I tried to subtly kick him under the table, hoping he might get the hint. Unfortunately, what I thought was his leg was the metal table leg. All of a sudden all the dishes and glasses jumped as I gave the table leg a good swift kick.

Well, there was not much left to do after that. It was pretty obvious what had happened. Thankfully my in-laws didn't say anything directly to me, though I wonder what they did say to each other later that night.