Have you ever heard that story? The one where the man is working on a roof and starts to fall off?
He prays like crazy all the way down, "Lord, please don't let me fall. Please don't let me die. I'll be good for the rest of my life, I promise."
Down, down, down he goes until something wonderful happens. At the last second, his belt loop catches on a nail, saving him from a lot of pain and suffering, or even death.
The man's response? "Never mind Lord, the nail caught my fall."
I hate to admit it, but I have been a "nail caught my fall" kind of girl most of my life. It's hard to change, but something happened the day we had Morgan's farewell for her mission that made me think about this story.
The weather had not been great all week and I was worried. We don't have enough room in our house for all the wonderful people who know and love Morgan so I was mentally preparing for what to do in case of rain. (It poured buckets for Austin's baptism and it was terrible! Lots of brave Fronks ate outside on the back, semi-covered, patio.) Well this time we had family AND friends AND ward members coming. I kept picturing all my cute little nieces, lined up and down our hallway, trying to eat.
It started drizzling that morning, as it had all week, right before raining hard most afternoons. It had rained so hard that the carpet in our living room, which had been fine for 3 years, buckled right in the middle. And not just a little wrinkle either. Kind of a "Hey, look at me!" kind of buckle that actually trips people.
Anyway, I prayed like crazy that morning. And that's when I thought about the nail story. I knew if it didn't rain that day it would be a miracle, just for us (me).
And guess what, it rained like crazy.
JUST KIDDING! It DIDN'T rain. It cleared up and was beautiful weather. Nice and warm, but not too hot, and sunny. There might have even been a rainbow.
The nail didn't catch my fall. Somebody up there was thinking about US and answering my prayer. It might have been a small thing to some people, but to me it was HUGE. I'm not a fan of large gatherings in the first place, and having things like this at my house is enough to throw me over the edge on a good day. Add in a thunderstorm and that's pretty much the end of it. I feel like I barely survived the baptism and this was so much harder for me because I was already dealing with the fact that my sweet, happy daughter is leaving us for a year and a half.
Since Morgan has been preparing for her mission I have really been thinking about spiritual things. Working on my testimony and really hashing out things in my head to see what I really believe in and where I stand. It has been good for me, but hard at times. I'm not good at feeling. I'm barely good at thinking anymore. Figuring out my current testimony has required both. (I'm probably one of those people who can't walk and chew gum at the same time either. I don't know. I don't like to chew gum.)
So, just like the man in the story, I got my happy ending. Except I do know and acknowledge who really saved us that day.
I just want to point out another difference. When I prayed, I didn't say that I would be good for the rest of my life. I don't like to promise what I can't deliver. (I might have said I would try harder though.)
So this is going to be very rambling and probably somewhat disjointed. I haven't written in months, unless you count all the posts I've started in my head. (And believe me, I've had some doozies. I have been spending a lot of time thinking and re-evaluating so many things in my life. A lot of what I have been thinking had to do with figuring out what I do and do NOT have control of in my life and how I should act - or react, accordingly.)
So my oldest baby, Morgan, leaves in less than a week for the MTC and then off to the Philippines. Oh, the emotions...... One thing I am so very grateful for is the fact that she has wanted to go on a mission since she was a little girl, so I know it was not a rash decision or one fueled by peer pressure from all the enthusiasm brought on by the recent age change for missionaries.
People have started asking me how I am feeling, which I honestly think is a very brave question. Anyone who knows me even somewhat well is probably prepared for a less than upbeat answer. (I had already scheduled my nervous breakdown for Thursday, all day, but then I remembered there is that blasted Orchestra meeting for parents that apparently is not optional. I'm still a little annoyed at the music teacher that told my son that he seemed like he would be a good cello player, so Austin took her literally and HAS to play the cello. Never mind the fact that the cello can NOT go on the bus, so I will now end up doing something I have previously avoided at all costs - driving to the school at regular drop off and/or pick up times. Sigh. (I think that is one of the few times I have actually typed out the word "sigh". That seems a little dramatic, even for me.) :-)
So, my pity party for one is now grudgingly postponed until Friday. I have been saving a Lifetime movie just for the occasion and plan to make kettle corn and my famous "healthy"(ish) Coconut Oil Fudge. (And eat it all myself. Mmmmm, I need to post the recipe.) Hmm, I better throw something healthy in there too.
(Oh SHOOT! I just remembered I DO need to go somewhere Friday. Can't a girl wallow in sorrow for a full day anymore? I just looked at the calendar and I have at least one thing every. single. day. the next week too! Nooooooooo. This may turn out to be an ACTUAL nervous breakdown. I have been waiting all summer to be ALONE for a day.)
And in other news: I just took the Myers Briggs personality test, per Morgan's request. She is an INTJ and thought I might be the same. I had heard that term before and it did seem to fit. So I did take the test and I turned out to be an ISTJ. It said I was really close to an INTJ, but I had a small margin, less than 1%, of sensing over intuition.
My first response was "Really? I'm that close, but still can't be one of the "cool kids"? But then really, I don't necessarily trust my intuition so it was a pretty interesting result. One of our favorite things it said when Morgan read the explanation of my personality type is that I have an off beat sense of humor, I'm introverted but can be the life of the party at family and work gatherings. (Which of course, I CAN be, I just choose not to. Ha ha ha. Anyway.....)
I was driving down the street with Austin the other day and we drove past a really nice house that was for sale. Austin said he liked it. I asked him if he liked that style of house, and explained that the style was called Lodge.
We then went on to talk about the different house styles: Colonial, Coastal, Craftsman Bungalow, etc. and the styles I like best. I told him I didn't care what style if house he lives in when he grows up, as long as he keeps it relatively clean and it has room for me (and Hal) to come visit him.
Then I asked him what style of house he wanted to live in when he grows up.
He answered, "Castle! (Duh.)"
Of course, what a silly question. At least I know he will have plenty of space for that all-important guest room.
And another incident, this one makes me smile every time I think of it, I can just picture him saying this:
He came home yesterday with a birthday party invitation from a girl. I was surprised and asked if the whole class was invited, but he said no, just he and his friend, Peter.
When I RSVP'd, the mom said that her daughter wanted to invite Austin, but invited Peter too, because he was Austin's best friend.
Peter's mom called me to see if Austin was going, so Peter wouldn't be the only boy. After we made arrangements to get them to the party together she told me that when Peter saw Austin with an invitation he was surprised because Jessie is his neighbor and he didn't know Austin knew her that well. (Austin told me they bonded over throwing erasers back and forth between their desks and drawing faces on them. So, they decided to be friends.)
When Peter asked "Are you invited to Jessie's party too?" Austin replied, "Of course I am, I'm the coolest boy she knows!"
In Peter's defense, he is pretty cool too. Austin just has the bigger ego.