Perpetual Plan B

Monday, September 9, 2013

Checking In. Still Breathing, But Barely.....

So this is going to be very rambling and probably somewhat disjointed.  I haven't written in months, unless you count all the  posts I've started in my head. (And believe me, I've had some doozies.  I have been spending a lot of time thinking and re-evaluating so many things in my life.  A lot of what I have been thinking had to do with figuring out what I do and do NOT have control of in my life and how I should act - or react, accordingly.)

So my oldest baby, Morgan, leaves in less than a week for the MTC and then off to the Philippines.  Oh, the emotions......  One thing I am so very grateful for is the fact that she has wanted to go on a mission since she was a little girl, so I know it was not a rash decision or one fueled by peer pressure from all the enthusiasm brought on by the recent age change for missionaries.

People have started asking me how I am feeling, which I honestly think is a very brave question.  Anyone who knows me even somewhat well is probably prepared for a less than upbeat answer.  (I had already scheduled my nervous breakdown for Thursday, all day, but then I remembered there is that blasted Orchestra meeting for parents that apparently is not optional.  I'm still a little annoyed at the music teacher that told my son that he seemed like he would be a good cello player, so Austin took her literally and HAS to play the cello.  Never mind the fact that the cello can NOT go on the bus, so I will now end up doing something I have previously avoided at all costs - driving to the school at regular drop off and/or pick up times. Sigh.  (I think that is one of the few times I have actually typed out the word "sigh".  That seems a little dramatic, even for me.) :-)

So, my pity party for one is now grudgingly postponed until Friday.  I have been saving a Lifetime movie just for the occasion and plan to make kettle corn  and my famous "healthy"(ish) Coconut Oil Fudge.  (And eat it all myself.  Mmmmm, I need to post the recipe.) Hmm, I better throw something healthy in there too.

(Oh SHOOT!  I just remembered I DO need to go somewhere Friday.  Can't a girl wallow in sorrow for a full day anymore? I just looked at the calendar and I have at least one thing every. single. day. the next week too! Nooooooooo. This may turn out to be an ACTUAL nervous breakdown. I have been waiting all summer to be ALONE for a day.)

And in other news: I just took the Myers Briggs personality test, per Morgan's request.  She is an INTJ and thought I might be the same.  I had heard that term before and it did seem to fit.  So I did take the test and I turned out to be an ISTJ.  It said I was really close to an INTJ, but I had a small margin, less than 1%, of sensing over intuition.

My first response was "Really?  I'm that close, but still can't be one of the "cool kids"?  But then really, I don't necessarily trust my intuition so it was a pretty interesting result.  One of our favorite things it said when Morgan read the explanation of my personality type is that I have an off beat sense of humor, I'm introverted but can be the life of the party at family and work gatherings.  (Which of course, I CAN be, I just choose not to.  Ha ha ha.  Anyway.....)