Perpetual Plan B

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Groundhog Day? No, it's Austin's Birthday.

This is the conversation Austin and I have had, word for word, first thing every morning for the last month or so:

Austin: "So is it my birthday today, or what?"

Me: "No, it's not your birthday yet."


That is, every day until TODAY, which is his birthday.

Here's how our morning went:

(First, a little background info. I have been extra busy this past week getting things ready for school next week, Ally had her birthday and Morgan had her birthday party, though her birthday isn't until next Saturday. We also have a family party today for our nephew, which I made a big cake for yesterday and Austin scraped all the frosting off one big corner and ate "Because it was so, so yummy!" We've also been getting ready for Austin's major Harry Potter birthday event with his cousins and other side of the family tomorrow night. We've been staying up late every night and getting up early every day. In the midst of all this I've had a killer toothache, having had a big filling re-done last week and the dentist accidentally hit a major nerve with the needle. I'm hoping this will eventually work itself out! As an added bonus, I ended up with a huge stye in my eye at the bottom of one of my eyelids. After talking to my eye doctor brother-in-law, I found out that it is something else and will probably grow BIGGER and last for over a month. Nice. Also, we still have at least three major family crises we are trying to help with, etc., etc. It's at the point I've instructed the kids not to even think about picking up the phone unless I know who it is and what they want. I can't deal with one more thing. This morning would be the only morning I would have any chance of sleeping in because the church we will be going to starts at 1:00, instead of our usual 9:00 time. I was looking forward to getting a little extra shuteye. At least sleeping in until 8:00, that's not too much to ask is it? Last night I stayed up too late talking to my friend Melinda, who moved to Colorado, on the phone. She was telling me about picking up a hitchhiker in Laramie, Wyoming. I spent a lot of time telling her she was nuts. I might get to see her today or tomorrow if I can fit it in between family parties. And hopefully a nap.)

So Hal left around 6:00 or 6:30 for his regular meetings. Promptly after he left, Austin woke me up.

Austin: "Mom, is it really my birthday today?"

Me: "Yes Austin, now go back to sleep."

Austin: "But mom, you said I could have my magic set today!"

Me, after weighing my options: "Okay, go get it, just let me sleep."

Two minutes later:

Austin: "Mom, where is it?"

Me: "On my dresser, in a bag."

Two more minutes later:

Austin, holding a bag: "Mom, is it in this bag?"

Me, opening one eyelid: "No, it's in the other bag."

Another minute:

Austin: "I don't see it in this bag either."

Me, opening another eyelid: "How many bags are on my dresser?"

Austin: "Three."

Me: "Well then look in the other bag and let me sleep!"

Five minutes later, Austin taps me on the shoulder.

"Mom, will you help me open the magic set?"

"Austin! If you don't let me get some sleep, you'll never live to see another birthday! Go get one of your sisters to help you!"

"I can't, they're asleep."

I open the bag and rest my aching head for a while. Ten minutes later Austin shows up by my bed.

"Mom, I don't know how to do the magic tricks. Will you read the directions to me?"

"Austin! Go wake up one of your sisters. Let me sleep!"

"I don't need to wake Morgan up, she is already awake."

"Well then go ask her, let me sleep."


I groan and roll over again. It is now about 7:30 a.m.

Five minutes later:


"What? I thought you were going to ask Morgan to help you!"

"I did, she read the directions. I need a dime for one of my tricks."

Me, getting more annoyed: "Austin, don't you remember the rule? If I'm sleeping, you are NOT supposed to wake me up unless it is an emergency!"

Austin, very calmly: "It is an emergency, Morgan didn't have a dime."

I called, not very calmly, for Morgan to come upstairs. She said she'd keep him busy. She went ahead and gave him her birthday presents to keep him busy. He had already found and opened everything else that Hal and I had bought him. I hid them in what I thought was an ingenious place, under his own bed. Austin doesn't sleep there or go into his bedroom alone because he gets too scared, so I was sure they would be safe. Unfortunately the neighbor kid, who is older, was here playing with him and got curious. They both ended up playing with all Austin's new birthday presents last week while Ally and I were in New York. So much for that great idea.

So Austin kept busy with the little alien and rocket ship that Morgan had given him for about 15 minutes. Then he woke me up to cut the tag off the little stuffed alien. I should have just given up then and gotten up. I think it's harder on your system to keep waking up and drifting back to sleep, but I was TIRED! (I still am.)

Morgan then got into the shower and I drifted back off to sleep. Ally was now up, so she gave Austin her present, a Rubik's Cube. I dozed for another few minutes when a very ironic thing happened. I had actually fallen asleep and was dreaming I was with my mom and girls in a park in Italy eating dinner. They were eating spaghetti. I had picked what looked like a big bunch of grapes off of a tree and was eating them first. When I was done and ready for my spaghetti, they had already cleaned up dinner. I was HUNGRY! Oh well, story of my life, a day late and a dollar short. Anyway, I woke up to the phone ringing, which is not a particularly pleasant sound if you are dog tired and groggy to boot. Since Hal was gone and Morgan was in the shower, I knew I'd have to be the one to get it, and since it was Sunday it might be an important call for Hal. I looked at the clock and couldn't believe it, it was 9:30!

Anyway, the even zippier, ironic twist was that it was my mom calling.

"Did I wake you up?" she asked, genuinely surprised. Usually I'm the one calling HER after 9:00 a.m. and waking her up.

"You told me to call this morning so I could wish Austin Happy Birthday." she said. "I wanted to catch you before you left for the day."

"At the rate I'm going, we're not going anywhere today." I muttered under my breath. I was truly not feeling well at this point. My mom then proceeded to tell me something about a Martha Stewart magazine and I somehow misunderstood and thought she had said that Martha had died. (And to be honest, I really didn't care at that point. I just wanted some sleep!)

After the phone call, Austin said, "Mom can you just get up and get me a drink of milk?"

I finally quit fighting it and got up.

He wanted Marshmallow Mateys for his birthday, which is usually a no-go until he eats something else healthy first. He did keep reminding me, "But it is my birthday!" As if I could forget! I gave in.

I sat down to start this post and then Ally came in later and pointed out that he had eaten all of the marshmallows and left the mateys.

So here we are today up to this point. Hopefully I will have something more pleasant to post about Austin's birthday later.

If I haven't sold him to the gypsies by then.


The Gathering Place said...

Happy Birthday to your son! I hope you found time for a nap today. It seems that sleeping in is a very rare thing now days! (Maybe that is why we doze off at places like church or meetings.)

Katie said...

He is such a character! I hope that the rest of his birthday went well, that you are feeling better, that everything else comes under control, and that you enjoy the quiet that will arrive at your house later this week!