Whenever life seems to spin out of control - as it has this last month or so, I start to think about what has to go. I just can't, and frankly don't want to, keep up with it all.
It's time once again to strip down to the bare bones of life and go from there. If it doesn't have anything to do with something healthy to eat, something clean to wear or the cleanliness and comfort of our home, it's going to have to go on the back burner. There are things I need to teach my children before it's too late.
Last year I tried to focus on the word "joy" and I failed miserably. This year I'm going to zero in on "peace", both inner and outer. I've been very reflective for the last week or so and feel like it's time to consciously lose some clutter in a few areas of my life, namely mental and physical and emotional (and any other kind of clutter that I can't think of right now because my brain is so cluttered).
I want to take some time in the next little while to work more on spiritual matters. I've always had a plan for my life and so far it hasn't worked out so well. It's true, "Man (or woman) makes plans, God laughs." This year I've vowed to release my expectations and leave it all up to the Lord and his plan for me and my family. This is a huge step for me. I may be a bit of a control freak. I think it comes from life feeling so out of control so much of the time.
I've been feeling a little resentful, to be honest, the last few months at some tasks that feel like they've been foisted on me. It seems like I've been kept so busy doing things that other people have asked - and almost expected me to do, either for themselves or others, that I haven't had a chance to pick my own service opportunities so it doesn't feel as sincere.
There are some specific things that I really want to do to help other people that I know really need the help but I haven't had or taken the time. I want to help someone this week that I know has a need but isn't asking anyone else to fill it, mostly because they don't want to "bother" anyone else. This may not sound nice, but I think some other people I know find it very easy to ask for help, even when they really could do things for themselves a little more. Why do some people find it so difficult to ask for the help they really need and others almost feel entitled to what they want, and then some?
Until I get my mood a little more in line with what I know I should be doing, I need to just hole up a little and get my head and my life together, maybe just detox from the general population for a while.
Thank goodness, once again, for caller i.d.