New Jeans and my Mild Case of OCD

Last week was very exciting. I got a new pair of jeans. This is worth writing about because they are not just any old jeans. They are CUTE jeans. They have flaps on the pockets, which I happen to like and they are long enough to wear with my furry boots that I've worn practically every day since the snow started to fly. (Ok, so most jeans are long enough, since I'm short. But they are also bootcut so they actually fit comfortably over my boots.) Another great feature about these jeans are that the pockets are big enough. I don't know why people who make jeans put little pockets on the back sometimes. Don't they know that if the pockets are little, it makes your behind look big. This is just common sense, isn't it?

Anyway, back to my jeans. They were cheap too. Just $15.97 at Sam's Club. Yay, I like getting something good for a good price, especially these days. And the timing was good. This fall I've gotten holes in the knees of all my good jeans. I only have two pairs of jeans left and one of them is a pair of "mom" jeans that I vaguely remember buying last year. (I always tell the girls, "Don't buy things you won't wear." Why didn't anyone say that to me?) Oh yes, one more great thing about these jeans. They aren't too low at the top. They are a little higher so you don't get the dreaded "muffin top". So far so good. I just need to take them in a little at the waist like I always do. I'm not a big fan of belts, especially since I accidently learned that my husband wears the same size belt as I do. (Ok, so he wears it on the loosest hole and I wear it on the tightest. That's still the same belt in my book.)

I would post a picture of me wearing these magical jeans, but that seems a little weird. I guess I could post them just sitting on my bed but that seems weird too. So you'll just have to use your imagination. I know, I'll post a picture of my furry boots. That ought to help a little.

So, you might ask, is there a downside to these jeans? Yes, unfortunately there is.

I washed my new favorite jeans, because that's what I do. I wash things before I wear them. It drives my mom nuts but I do it anyway. Because I'm a grown-up now with my own washing machine and everything.

I washed them and put them on the next day and then I thought, "WHAT?" They seemed a little tighter on one side than the other. Now that is not ok with me. That's a sensation I cannot get used to, no matter how much I love these jeans. It reminds me of the time I had skin cancer (I had a mole with melanoma) back in 1998 and they cut a huge chunk out of one side of my back. (I told you I've had some freaky things happen in my life.) The final biopsy literally involved them taking a 3" x 7" chunk of flesh out of one side of my back. I felt vulnerable and wounded but do you know what the worst part was? (Unless you've had this happen, I bet you don't know the worst part.) The worst thing is that it makes you feel like one side of your behind is a lot higher up than the other side. Like you've had it surgically lifted. I felt like asking the dermatologist if he could take another chunk off the other side to make it even. He did tell me that eventually it would even out.

And do you know what? He was right. Since the other side probably didn't magically lift itself up, I can only guess that the side with the scar eventually just fell back to where it started. Or it all just magically equalized. That's what I like to tell myself.

So back to my jeans, I kept them on and magically during the day they did start to feel better.

And then I looked at the bottoms of them in the back.

I noticed that on one side they dragged on the ground, but not on the other side. AHHHH. I really can't handle things being uneven. I really don't think I'm officially OCD or anything like that. I just really like things to be the same. (Ok, so I really hate it when people leave random numbers on the microwave when they are done cooking something and I can't set the thermostat in my car to an odd number, but I think that's a whole other issue altogether.)

So then I came up with a brilliant plan. I turned up the very hem on the longer side. It looks like it could have happened naturally. I'm proud of the fact that I can think on my feet.

So now, the problem is that I'm not sure if it's the jeans or my legs that are uneven. It's keeping me up at night. (Not really. Other things keep me up at night. Whether my legs are uneven or not hasn't really crossed my mind. Yet. At least not at night.)

I think there's only one thing to do. Wash the jeans again and see what happens. I can probably stretch out the one leg while they're wet if I need to.

I'm just scared they will come back out tighter on one side.

Is This What I Really Look Like?

The other day I was taking pictures of Austin. He begged me, as he always does, to let him take some pictures of me.

“All right,” I said, “let’s see what you can do." So, for the first time, I let him run the camera, figuring I could just delete anything he took anyway. I didn’t really think I’d like anything he would take.

But then this photo came up. I kind of like it. It’s like my own personal version of soft-focus. (You can click on the photo to get the full effect.)

So I like the photo and I told him I’d put it on the blog, to make him happy. (He’s very into the blog since he saw the picture he drew in Primary on it.)

And so we were both happy. That is until I saw THIS picture he took of me. (I would ask you NOT to click on this one, but I know you're going to anyway. I know I would.)

What’s wrong with this one? Well, let me see. I just wrote a cocky post a few days ago about how I stay in shape and look, I HAVE A DOUBLE CHIN!! (In my own defense, the sweater is just hanging down, my stomach is not that big.)

Now I remember why I don’t usually let the kids take pictures of me. (Do you think he's too young to understand if I try to teach him about "flattering camera angles"? )

Morgan's Quirky Habit

Morgan has a lot of "interesting" habits, but one in particular needs to be documented.

Morgan laughs when something is particularly sad or devastating.

One day when she was a little girl I went into her room and told her that someone had died. She got this smirk on her face and it kind of looked like she was going to cry but then, to my astonishment, she started to smile and then laugh. I was a little concerned with this, but decided to let it go.

Through the years I've noticed that this is just her way of reacting to bad news. I'm glad I discovered it while she was so young or I might have gotten after her if she were old enough to control herself. (Ok, so she is old enough to control herself now and she still does it but I know that's just how she deals with things.)

The reason I think this should be put on record is so that sometime in the future, when something devastating happens to someone she cares about and she laughs about it, she can pull out this post and say "See, this means I really do care about you."

Ally and the Dental Assistant

The first time I took Ally to her new dentist, Dr. Archibald, things seemed to be going well. She was three or four by then and she didn't act scared like I thought she would. She even sat very still, which was more than I can say for the time we took her to Uncle Dar. She wouldn't even open her mouth for him.

I was feeling so proud of her until I heard Dr. Archibald's assistant, Bari, walk in and Ally said, "Hello Chubby, nice to meet you."

Now Bari is kind of a big woman, so I was mortified. I walked into the room and said, "I'm sorry, she watches Bugs Bunny and that's something they said on one of the cartoons." Which really was true.

And Bari replied, "I didn't even hear what she said."

So we both smiled and I breathed a sigh of relief and left the room. All was well.

That is, until I heard Ally, in the other room, say with a very clear little voice, "I SAID, Hello Chubby, nice to meet you!"

I think they charged me extra for that visit.

Fun Family Show Suggestion

Right now we are watching the movie Nancy Drew. It's a great show for the whole family. It is one that Hal actually likes too and will watch with us. It's cute, it's funny, it's witty and it's full of quotable quotes. ("The scene is still delicious.") We also like trying out Corky's dance moves. What more could you ask for in a movie?

Anyone else have a good suggestion for a show the whole family will enjoy?

My Secret to Staying in Shape

Recently, I've learned that I have a lot of friends who run. I mean serious running, as in they have run half marathons. Now to be honest, I am quite impressed with this but I'm totally uninterested in this form of fitness at this point in my life. I'd much rather be reading a book than be running on a treadmill or outside where the neighbors could make fun of me. They have enough things to make fun of me for without adding fuel to the fire.


I'm lucky in ONE area of my life and only one. Right now I have bad hair, somewhat bad skin that is still acting young and breaking out - but starting to act old too and wrinkling (what's up with that?), a bad attitude, bad luck, semi-bad health in freakish ways that you could never tell by looking at me and chronically bad timing in a lot of ways.


The one thing I'm lucky in:

I haven't gained weight since high school. In fact, I actually weigh less than the number on my driver's license.

So, I guess I should count my blessings and appreciate it while it lasts. I did figure out the secret to my unexplained level of fitness. Are you ready for it?

High maintenance kids.


That's right, the little slugs are keeping me in shape while they loll around on the couch, asking for drinks of water and pencils to do their homework and anything else that catches their fancy. And I'm up and moving because I don't want them to get dehydrated or not finish their homework for lack of a writing utensil.

Now, don't get me wrong, they are not all at the same level of high maintenance. The little one is definitely the worst. The sheer amount of beverages and snacks the kid consumes in a day are monumental. And he can't reach to get them himself and that's the way I like it so far. He can't go to the bathroom by himself either. He's scared. So to toughen him up, I always make him start into the bathroom by himself. But I know eventually he'll need me to come in and keep him company or turn on the water to wash his hands, a practice that I firmly believe in. So he calls and I come running. And I count it as exercise. And it also fits into my schedule and doesn't require any special type of clothing.

So for now, that's my fitness regimen. It works. I'll stick with it as long as it's available and convenient.

There's only one problem, the little guy goes to Kindergarten next fall. Then I'll only be exercising half the time. And then the next year he'll be in school full time, so I might not be exercising at all during the day. Now don't get me wrong, I've been waiting for the day he starts school for quite a few years now, four to be exact. I'm just afraid that when I get them all in school all day I'll be so happy to have the house to myself that I'll just sit on the couch and read good books and eat whatever I want and not have any interruptions. And I also think that that will be the beginning of the end. I think the pounds might just start to slowly creep up on me. So I'm bracing myself for the inevitable.


I think I'll just try to enjoy being in relatively good shape until that happens. ( I guess there's always Alley, our high maintenance cat.)


But for now, would anyone like to borrow a high maintenance kid for a day or two to start your own revolutionary new fitness plan?



(Addendum, written the next morning: There are a few things I do draw the line at. Like when Austin wakes me up at exactly 3:40 in the morning, like he did today, looking for his red blankie and a drink of water WITH a lid. In the first place, I'm too tired to find his red blankie. I'm happy to get him a normal drink of water when necessary, but the lids are downstairs and I'm not willing to trudge downstairs, half asleep in the middle of the night for something so UNnecessary. He can drink his water from the open bathroom cup, which he can reach himself. Besides, I think I should be off-duty at 3:40 in the morning when it comes to unnecessary items. (Ok, so the red blankie is somewhat necessary, but he does have two of them and he was already sleeping with one of them, it was just the WRONG red blankie, according to him. It was the one that didn't smell good - meaning the clean one). So Hal took pity on him at 3:40 this morning. Did you ever wonder how Hal stays so thin?............)

Filling in the Gaps

Austin came home from Primary today with a picture he'd drawn. I could tell by the picture exactly what it was. He'd drawn Joseph Smith and the first vision.

When we got home and I was fixing his lunch, I asked him to tell me the story of the first vision. He actually remembered most of it.

This is what he said:

"When Joseph Smith was a boy, he fell down in a group of trees and he prayed to Heavenly Father and asked him which church to join. Heavenly Father and Jesus came and saw him and told him not to join any church because they were all wrong."

I asked, "What happened next? Is that when he started to organize our church?"

Austin then looked at me quizzically and said "No, he didn't."

"He didn't?" I asked. "Then what happened next?"

"He died."

I think we need to have a Family Home Evening lesson to fill in some of the gaps.

I Like Shoes

There's really nothing more to say here, I just really like shoes.

Desperately Seeking Formatting Help

Why are my paragraphs not showing up correctly?

Seriously, I cannot figure out why the spaces between my paragraphs are so wonky. Sometimes I get a large space, sometimes I get NO space, even though I leave a line, or sometimes even two or three lines between paragraphs and sometimes it even works just like I want it to.

It's not even consistent within one post. I just never know what I'm going to get.

If anyone out there knows the answer to this deep question, please let me know what to do.

My children are starting to believe something they have suspected for a long time now. They think that I am incompetent. (Which I am, of course, in some things. But I really can type a legitimate paragraph.)

Waiting Patiently for Summer

Nibley City Childrens' play, Pirates of Penzance June 2008 (Morgan had the female lead, Ruth, and sang a solo. Ally was supposed to be a young maiden but insisted on being a pirate instead. Austin was too young to be in the play, but dressed as a pirate the whole time anyway.)

I'm having a minor case of winter blahs. I don't think I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder like a lot of people do, but I do know that I start to feel a whole lot better once it starts to warm up and the sun starts shining again. (And then summer comes and it gets too hot and I look forward to fall again. Apparently I'm one of those people who is never satisfied.)

Usually I go on some kind of little trip this time of year, but I'm not going anywhere until the end of March or April. I just need to hang on until then.

For now I'll just look at photos from last summer and wear lots of layers.