Another Exciting FHE

We have been having some funny Family Home Evening incidents lately. (And I should note here that FHE has been a lot more fun in general lately since we've actually been doing fun things instead of Hal just sitting and reading scriptures AT us. I'm glad we're over that phase.)

Last week we were talking about Moses. Hal was asking Ally if there was anything else about Moses that we hadn't talked about. I wanted to help her out, but I got a little confused. I started to spell out a word to help her. (Sometimes we start to spell out a word to give hints.)

I said "He was also G-A-....." (Proud of myself that I remembered that he was also thought to be the angel Gabriel.)

Hal and Morgan both gave me these looks of astonishment.

Then I realized my mistake and said "Oops, never mind, that was Noah."

Everyone was stunned. Hal looked really mad and Morgan and Ally were looking at me in shock. I wondered what the problem was. It finally dawned on me that "G-A-....." is also what we use to describe when someone is "G-A-Y".

Um, no. For the record, Moses was not "G-A-Y". (Or Noah, for that matter.) The correct answer was "slow of speech".

When they talk about me someday, do you think they will say I am "slow of brain"?

Austin, The Kissing Bandit

Who can resist a face like this?

Austin somehow came up with the idea that he can get anything he wants if he gives me a kiss. If he wants a cookie, he'll say "I'll give you a kiss if you give me one." And really, who can resist that, with his little blinking eyes looking up at you? I can't. Sometimes, when he's feeling lazy, he'll just blow me some kisses.

At home he will give me a kiss for anything from getting him a drink of water to letting him stay up a little bit later at night.

But then it progressed to wanting BIG things like expensive toys at the store. That wasn't so great. Especially when I say no and we are walking through the store and he's saying in a loud voice "Well, I SAID I'd give you a kiss. Don't you want a kiss from your little boy?"

He is so used to giving me kisses for things that it is getting a little annoying. Like in the middle of the night when he crawls into bed with Hal and me. I had him trained to just crawl in and not wake me up because I have a hard time getting back to sleep.

Now he crawls in and finds my face and gives me a big, loud smack on the lips.

I guess I should appreciate it while it lasts. I was raised with parents who didn't hug OR kiss any of us. Someday he probably won't even want to be seen with me, much less give me a big kiss.

I think I need to teach him to give me hugs instead. They're a whole lot quieter in the middle of the night.

My Great Ideas for Getting Kids to Help out around the House

Oh, I just realized. I don't have any ideas to get kids to help out around the house.

I actually NEED ideas. Do you have any?

Never Buy a White Bath Mat

Never, ever buy a white bath mat. At least not while you have a young boy in the house who has recently been potty trained.

Or any of his little friends.

Just take my word on this one.

Another Exciting Parenting Experience

Last September, Austin started a new preschool. He also came home with a new word, which he unveiled when he was in the bathtub, playing with his Spiderman toys. I'm pretty sure "sh--" might be a word that could be used by a superhero, but since we've never met an actual superhero in real life, I knew he must have learned the word somewhere else.



I was cleaning the bathroom when I heard from the tub, "Sh--, sh--, sh--." I calmly leaned into the tub and asked "What did you say?" He calmly repeated it. Ok, I thought to myself, this is it, don't overreact. I sat down and gently tried to explain that that wasn't a nice word. He took it in stride so I congratulated myself on my great parenting skills and kept cleaning. And then I heard it again. So I calmly talked to him again and then I threatened him with losing Spiderman for a day. That did the trick. So, again I congratulated myself and crossed that parenting milestone off the mental list of unfortunate things I knew I would have to go through with each kid.



And then Sunday came.



We had just sat down for Sacrament meeting and got settled in when I looked over at Austin and he was sticking his middle finger up at me. I did a double take and then realized that he was doing what I thought he was doing. And it was no accident. I quickly sat him on my lap and explained that Heavenly Father and Jesus were sad when we do things like that and that he shouldn't do it. He seemed to accept what I'd said and we got ready for the meeting to start.



Right when the Sacrament song started I looked at Austin. He was standing up with a defiant look and flipping me off AGAIN! I was so mad that I stood up and dragged him out of the bench. I tried to hold his hand and walk out, but he was no dummy. He did not want to go out with me because he could see the fire in my eyes. He then grabbed my bad arm and pulled. That was the end of it. I picked him up under my good arm, like a football, and marched right out of there, high heels and all.

We got into the foyer and it was full, so I dragged him into the nearest empty classroom. I can't really remember what I said, but I do know that he burst into tears and threw himself at me and started hugging me. We walked calmly back into the chapel and I was so surprised that they were still singing the same song. The whole episode must have lasted less than 4 minutes.

Next time I'll just skip Mr. Nice Guy and go straight for the threats. They seem to be the only thing that work sufficiently.

Darn. I really like being Mr. Nice Guy.

WHY I SOMETIMES TYPE IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS

When I was in college, I took lots of drafting classes. This is when AutoCAD was just coming out. I learned on version 2.6, which means it was a long time ago. Computer drafting was so new that I also took many drafting classes using an actual drawing board. (As in "back to the old drawing board".) My first job at LMC was all drawing board work. We spent a long time trying to convince the big guys downstairs to spring for computers for us because that was the way of the future. One of my school projects was actually a persuasive presentation on this subject. LMC finally did get computers, but it was after I'd moved to Texas so I didn't get to use one there. (I was the only person at the time in the Drafting Department who actually knew how to use AutoCAD so it was a bummer that they got it after I was gone and I didn't get to help with the changeover. And, to be honest, it might have been kind of fun to teach some of those "old dogs" a new trick or two. A feeling of superiority never hurts the self-esteem, does it?)

In drafting, whether it is by hand or computer, you use mainly capital letters. That's just how it is and so, for years, that's how I wrote for 8 hours a day. After working at LMC for around 3 years, my handwriting (which was never that great to begin with) started shifting to all caps in my everyday life. That is still how I write, even more so than cursive, much to the chagrin of my kids' elementary school teachers who always have a tough time explaining to them why we need both capital AND lower case letters. I've tried to change, really I have but I worked in the drafting industry long enough for it to stay ingrained in my brain.

Doing computer drafting, the first thing you do is hit the caps lock button every day. So to me, all capital letters was normal, I'd never even thought about what it might look like to other people. Not even once in all the e-mails I'd sent back and forth with my boss, friends, etc. One day a little intern dude with a very long pony tail sent me an e-mail about something work related, so I answered him. He replied back "Turn off your caps lock, you're scaring me!" I honestly had no idea what he meant. To me all caps was just necessary to the trade. I was a little snobby in the fact that I didn't like to be confused with the secretaries in the plant, so I really tried, on purpose to steer clear from any "regular" computer classes. I really do wish that somewhere along the line I would have picked up on some of the "computer etiquette" that I'd missed out on. I didn't even take WordPerfect or Word classes, which now I really regret.

To conform, I learned to switch to regular typing for personal correspondence, when I would remember, which was probably not all the time. I still slip once in a while but I think I'm doing much better. I do like the effect of typing a word or a phrase in all caps to emphasize it and probably over-use the technique, but I like how it gets a point across.

I'm still hand writing in all caps though. When I'm writing a note to the kids or something I'm just trying to get it on paper as quick as I can, because it seems like I'm always in a hurry and that's the way it still naturally comes out of my brain. Since my handwriting is getting sloppier every year, not like the neatly made letters of my drawing board years, maybe I'll try to re-learn to write, right along with Austin when he gets into school.

The Day Mr. Torrey was Disappointed in Me

Mr. Torrey was Ally's 5th grade teacher. He was an excellent teacher, probably the best teacher she has ever had. He somehow "got" her personality and even enjoyed her strange little sense of humor. (We won't discuss here where it might have come from.)

Mr. Torrey was an inspirational and very motivating kind of teacher. He was a former personal trainer, and even had Ally interested in doing actual physical activity, which so far no one else has ever been able to do. Yes, Ally had seemed to be making great strides in 5th grade.

And then one day she came home and said "Mr. Torrey said you weren't a good parent." (I later found out those weren't his exact words, but I'm sure that's what he was thinking.)

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"He asked us what our favorite song was today and I said one of mine was Cherry Pie by Warrant. He said that that song isn't appropriate for a 5th grader to listen to."

"Oh great!" I thought, I knew those 80s songs were going to get me in trouble sooner or later. Then I thought about it for a minute.

"Is that really your favorite song?" I asked her?

"Not really," she said, "I just couldn't think of anything else to say."


(Later I remembered she had said it was ONE of her favorite songs so I asked her what else she said was a favorite song. She couldn't remember. I can only imagine what else she said. Def Leppard? George Michael? Prince?)

Heaven help us!

Defending my Honor

This is Morgan in the ocean at Newport, Rhode Island. This photo was taken on her 12 year old trip where just she and I got to go on a big adventure. It is a trip I will cherish the memory of always! Hopefully we can do something like this again when she turns 16.


Now, on to the real post:

This is in rebuttal to the remarks made previously by one, Morgan Fronk. I will address them one at a time.

First of all, one of the hazards of old age is that the memory is first to go. I will be honest and say that I did notice the cookie dough when I opened the fridge to put away the vegetables that I had just bought. If SOMEONE had been helping me, I wouldn't have even seen the cookie dough in the first place, and so the grievously erronious post would have never been written in the first place. (But then our dear readers would also not have my easy snack tip either, so that would have been sad.) I will, however, own up to the fact that I SHOULD have figured out on my own that you are the one that moved the cookie dough. Why, you ask? Because a lot more of it was missing than the last time I remember having any.

Next, the spelling of Austin's new best friend's name. Yes, it's true that I was a former spelling champion. Because accuracy of facts apparently matters to you a lot, I believe it must be mentioned I won the Spelling Bee not once, not twice or even three times. I won it in 4th, 5th, 6th and even 7th grade where the competition was much stiffer. I did, however, lose in 8th grade, with the word loneliest, which I hesitate to put here because I am still not sure how to spell it correctly. In fact, this is the first time I have ever used the word since then. I have avoided it at all costs until now, but I have spell check on my side today, so I'll be brave because it is a good example for you.

Being a former Spelling Champ has been both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because that means I am usually able to spell words correctly. A curse because I forget to use spell check and also I never hear the end of it if I do spell a word wrong. But, since the name Clawsure (is that how you spelled it?) is not actually a real word, there is no shame involved with not spelling it "correctly". And, if you would have read the whole post, I did ask for help, which I am a firm believer in doing if you don't know the correct answer to any question. This is a lesson you would do well to learn. :-) I will now use spell check.

(Apparently, I keep spelling the word apparently wrong. In a minute, I will go and type it 20 times correctly. Also, for the record, the name Clawsure didn't pass the spell check test either.)

And finally, in apology to you, I will post one of my favorite photos of you. It will be the first photo ever posted on this blog, an honor that I hope you appreciate. (Not sure why the photo is at the top. I wanted it at the bottom of the post.)

Addendum by Morgan Fronk

As wonderful as Mom usually is, I most sincerely regret to say that she has made some serious mistakes in two of her posts--"My Brilliant Plan" and "For the Record".

I will first address the more grave of the two blunders: Mom took credit for my brilliant plan and made absolutely no mention of me in her post. She only knows about my brilliant plan because I had the courtesy to tell her where I had hidden the cookie dough so Ally wouldn't find it.

Because I'm not allowed to edit Mom's posts, just think of it as being from my point of view rather than Mom's.

Mistake Numero Dos: Mom, spelling champion extraordinaire, can't spell the simple name of Clawsure. It's spelled phonetically. Honestly, Mom. :)

Clawsure is Austin's tumbleweed buddy. His name is pronounced Claw-zhure and is originally French, but the spelling has been Americanized. Despite popular belief (Mom's and all those other poor, misguided souls who have read the previous post on Clawsure), his name is spelled Clawsure not "Kloger". That's like Kroger and it is degrading for a tumbleweed of Clawsure's stature to be comparable to a cooking brand.

That's all for now, but Mom says I'm to write about all of her flaws, so I'll probably be back a lot.

Fare thee well,
Morgan "the Magnificent" Fronk

I Think You Might Have Had to be Here

There are two phrases that get a lot of use at our house. The first one is "I thought you said ____________." (which is generally followed by something more interesting than what was actually said) and "Did you and mom used to do that?", which is usually said during movies when people act goofy or wear dumb clothes or say really sappy or stupid things to each other. The "I thought you said" comment is usually made by me because somewhere along the line I have ended up with some kind of hearing loss.

Last night was no different. We had been watching The Great Race the last two nights, which prompted a lot of annoying questions from the kids about what Hal and I "used to do".

The one that did get us all laughing uproariously was during Family Home Evening. We had just talked about these two crazy phrases and how we could quit saying them so much. I then tried to defend myself because, as I said before, my ears are not so great, which is why I'm always saying what I thought was said. Then it was time to read some scriptures. I've just turned 41 and all of a sudden my eyes are not working so well. I need to get my brother-in-law Paul, who is an eye doctor, to check my eyes. It was kind of dark in the living room so I was really struggling to see. Finally I set down my scriptures and said "I feel like Helen Keller!" Hal and Morgan immediately burst into laughter because they "thought" I was going to say "I feel like he--!"